The Silence of My Suffering
Deep pain has poor peripheral vision. For a season, all I could see was my own survival. I thought that meant I had become selfish. Now I wonder if it simply meant I was human.
Deep pain has poor peripheral vision. For a season, all I could see was my own survival. I thought that meant I had become selfish. Now I wonder if it simply meant I was human.
We all love fresh starts. But I’ve learned that nothing truly becomes fresh until we’re willing to clean what came before it. Sometimes healing looks less like starting over and more like washing yesterday away.
I thought I hated when personal trainers added bonus rounds. Turns out, I don’t hate the extra exercises. I hate when life changes the plan after my mind has already decided it was finished.
We often think healing requires someone to carry our biggest burden. But I’ve learned that the people who change us most are usually the ones quietly picking up all the little pieces while we learn to lift the boulder ourselves.
I thought surrender would feel brave. Instead, it felt like exhaustion. One day I stopped fighting for the steering wheel—not because I trusted the road, but because I had nothing left. That’s when I discovered Someone else had been driving all along.
I’ve spent most of my life filling every quiet moment with noise. Music. Podcasts. Television. Books. I thought I loved sound. Maybe I was just afraid of what silence might have to say.
I used to think happiness was the only acceptable emotion. Now I wonder if my tears have been leading me somewhere all along. Maybe crying isn’t a sign that I’m falling apart—maybe it’s proof that I’m finally healing.
I spent years believing the worst day of my life only took from me. Thirty years later, I can finally see the unexpected gifts that quietly grew in its wake. Grief didn’t disappear—but my perspective did.